[we interrupt this program to bring you the following very biased and bitter rant]
This morning on the local news they repeated a piece on the Katrina evacuees who were having their electricity shut off. You see, FEMA was only paying for electricity for a year and that year is up. The relocated resident is now responsible for paying the deposit to the electric company and transferring responsibility of payment to themselves.
So the news shows us heart-breaking interviews with put upon Katrina victims. What a travesty this is. Why won't the government help them? Why are they being so cruel? My fish in my tank won't live if the filters don't work!
You have a f***ing fish tank?!
Well, all I have to say to that is boo f****ing hoo! It has been a year. You can't find a job to pay for your deposit and bill in a year? Why do you have a fish tank? Shouldn't you be saving your pennies to pay for the electricity deposit?
You might say, but their homes are gone, their lives up turned, have mercy. I say, where was the mercy of the government when my life was washed away in 2001? Why didn't I get to live on the government's dime for a year?
My home was destroyed by Tropical Storm Allison. But since I am a single, male, renter, there was nothing anyone wanted to do for me. Homeowners got money. Families got money. Guys like me got crap.
I got what FEMA called two months rent for my area. It wasn't even close, and even if it was, I was supposed to be back on my feet in two months, not twelve. These people have been on assistance for a f***ing year.
The State gave me $1000 to replace the $6000 in damages I had. Yeah, that really covered it.
Insurance gave me nothing because renter's insurance didn't cover it. Floods are only covered by flood insurance. That was a hard lesson learned.
I spent most of June sleeping on a neighbor's couch. My FEMA rent money went to off set rent for a friend that let me apartment/pet sit for her while she was in LA for July and August. FEMA didn't even cover one month. Ouisie's Mom is a saint! I was back on the couch in September until I acquired a garage apartment to carry me through December, when my home was finally ready to move back in.
Keep in mind, this whole time, 6 months, while I was basically living out of my suitcase, I kept my job. I worked hard, but living out of your suitcase, a couch here, a hotel there, and an apartment there, is not cheap. Recovery wasn't cheap either.
And there is nothing you can tell me that will convince me that you could not get a job in 12 months. What that tells me is either A) you didn't want a job and felt you deserved to live off of my tax money or B) you could have gotten a job, but you were picky about it.
Guess what people, it is desperate times. If the job you get is flipping burgers, then flip the damn burgers. My meager debt load that was incurring while in graduate school (did I mention I was working AND keeping up with an MFA program those 6 months?) doubled after Allison. I may have to quit my job soon, the job I love that is in my field, in order to get a higher paying job I hate so I can get out of this debt. I don't see any FEMA people helping me take care of that.
I am sorry, but if a deadline was looming, you should have been saving for the deposit months ago. You should have found the crappy job that would keep your bills paid and THEN you should have gotten a fish tank. After all, flipping burgers is a mindless job, giving you plenty of time to think how you can get the job you want.
[biased, bitter rant over. we now return you to your regularly scheduled program]
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
And maybe a view?
As many of you know (well, there are three, four of you?) I tend to watch an inordinate amount of TV. Not as much as our noble QOTD, but more than my fair share. This week Fox started rolling out its Fall shows. Most notably "Vanished."
I really liked this show. The thing I like most, I think, is that whether it is season long or not, the story arc is long. Not like CSIs (also favorites) where there is a different story every week with the characters we love, but the story plays out over many episodes. The mystery of this woman's "disappearance" is going to take a while to solve.
The cast, so far, is very appealing. Ming Na is the only one whose work I know (from ER, Joy Luck Club and Mulan), and she is a definite plus. The leading FBI agent, Gale Howard, is very watchable, and his back story gives him a great brooding depth.
John Allen Nelson, as Senator Collins, is also very watchable. He is one of those B ring actors that work all the time in one shot roles, so you will certainly recognize him. He was faboo as the duped Presidential Aide in 24. He gets a very different role here as the duped husband. Wait ... maybe not so different.
Finally, there is Rebecca Gayheart. I almost forgot about her. She is always fun to watch. She is one of those rare few who work like a B ring actor, but seems more like an A ring star.
A ring? B ring? Maybe I should explain my code. A ring actors are the ones that one usually thinks of as a STAR. If not a big time star, they are the star of show after show. Keiffer Sutherland is A ring. Michael J. Fox is A ring. Actors whose names you know.
B ring are the actors with just as much skill and talent as the A ring, but for whatever reason, are the ones you only know on sight and you rarely know their name. They work all the time as guest shots on various shows, show up in supporting roles in films. Always make an impression, but since they are never the star, you almost never remember who they are unless you mean to. Basically, they are the people who you see early on in L&O, who you know are guilty for no other reason than you recognize them. Sure enough, after a brief interview in act 1, they show up again in act 3 as the focus. I would name names, but, well, you get my point.
Anyway, if your life has room and you are looking for a good mystery drama, Vanished just might be for you!
I really liked this show. The thing I like most, I think, is that whether it is season long or not, the story arc is long. Not like CSIs (also favorites) where there is a different story every week with the characters we love, but the story plays out over many episodes. The mystery of this woman's "disappearance" is going to take a while to solve.
The cast, so far, is very appealing. Ming Na is the only one whose work I know (from ER, Joy Luck Club and Mulan), and she is a definite plus. The leading FBI agent, Gale Howard, is very watchable, and his back story gives him a great brooding depth.
John Allen Nelson, as Senator Collins, is also very watchable. He is one of those B ring actors that work all the time in one shot roles, so you will certainly recognize him. He was faboo as the duped Presidential Aide in 24. He gets a very different role here as the duped husband. Wait ... maybe not so different.
Finally, there is Rebecca Gayheart. I almost forgot about her. She is always fun to watch. She is one of those rare few who work like a B ring actor, but seems more like an A ring star.
A ring? B ring? Maybe I should explain my code. A ring actors are the ones that one usually thinks of as a STAR. If not a big time star, they are the star of show after show. Keiffer Sutherland is A ring. Michael J. Fox is A ring. Actors whose names you know.
B ring are the actors with just as much skill and talent as the A ring, but for whatever reason, are the ones you only know on sight and you rarely know their name. They work all the time as guest shots on various shows, show up in supporting roles in films. Always make an impression, but since they are never the star, you almost never remember who they are unless you mean to. Basically, they are the people who you see early on in L&O, who you know are guilty for no other reason than you recognize them. Sure enough, after a brief interview in act 1, they show up again in act 3 as the focus. I would name names, but, well, you get my point.
Anyway, if your life has room and you are looking for a good mystery drama, Vanished just might be for you!
Wonder Twin Powers Activate!
People take a lot of quizzes on My Space!
And I said Cyclops was the sexiest. Hmm....
| You Are Wolverine |
 Small but fierce, you're a great fighter. Watch out! You are often you're own greatest enemy. Powers: Adamantium claws, keen senses, the ability to heal quickly |
And I said Cyclops was the sexiest. Hmm....
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Tale as old as time ...
 | You scored as The Beast. Your alter ego is The Beast! But that is only a name... you are kind hearted and sweet, people just misunderstand you.
Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego? created with QuizFarm.com |
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
My Space!
So, in an effort to be hip and cool, and try to figure out how a theatrical organization can utilize certain internet tools, I have joined My Space.
Click here to check it out!
I have been checking out other theaters My Space pages, and yet to find out how they are using them to an advantage. The Water Tower Theater seems to have a good blog going. I love the before and after/rehearsal and performance shots.
Otherwise, life is moving forward. That is about as positive as I can be these days. My moods are shifting rapidly as I settle into this new stage. In all deference to 3B2B, who I raz about referring to age on his blog, I am feeling like too much of life has slipped by me. Gary may have over used the word, but there are days when I feel down right pathetic. Those are the blusiest days of all. If it wasn't for TLC and Bravo, I might not even get out of bed those days.
Click here to check it out!
I have been checking out other theaters My Space pages, and yet to find out how they are using them to an advantage. The Water Tower Theater seems to have a good blog going. I love the before and after/rehearsal and performance shots.
Otherwise, life is moving forward. That is about as positive as I can be these days. My moods are shifting rapidly as I settle into this new stage. In all deference to 3B2B, who I raz about referring to age on his blog, I am feeling like too much of life has slipped by me. Gary may have over used the word, but there are days when I feel down right pathetic. Those are the blusiest days of all. If it wasn't for TLC and Bravo, I might not even get out of bed those days.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Who am I?
This has come to me in an e-mail a couple of times, and I thought it would make a good MEME.
Four Things about me - Things you may or may not have known about me in no particular order.
A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Supernumerary, New York City Opera Co.
2. Waiter
3 Docent, French Legation Museum
4. Actor/Singer (as each and both)
B) Four movies I would watch over and over (and do!):
1. Horatio Hornblower
2. Rent
3. White Christmas
4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
C) Four places I have lived (in order):
1. Houston, TX
2. Williamstown, MA
3. Austin, TX
4. Houston, TX
D) Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. The Amazing Race
2. Lost
3. 24
4. Project Runway
E) Four places I have been on vacation:
1. New York, NY
2. Los Angeles. CA
3. Spain, Costa del Sol to Madrid
4. Bloomington, IN
F) Websites I visit daily:
1. Playbill.com
2. Lemming's Progress
3. Chase Bank
4. Google Personal Home Page for Quote of the Day
G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. Fried Chicken
2. Coffee Ice Cream
3. French Fries
4. Sweet and Sour Chicken with Steamed Rice
H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1. London, England
2. New York, NY
3. Scotland
4. Wherever there may be friends and/or family in attendance
Four Things about me - Things you may or may not have known about me in no particular order.
A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Supernumerary, New York City Opera Co.
2. Waiter
3 Docent, French Legation Museum
4. Actor/Singer (as each and both)
B) Four movies I would watch over and over (and do!):
1. Horatio Hornblower
2. Rent
3. White Christmas
4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
C) Four places I have lived (in order):
1. Houston, TX
2. Williamstown, MA
3. Austin, TX
4. Houston, TX
D) Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. The Amazing Race
2. Lost
3. 24
4. Project Runway
E) Four places I have been on vacation:
1. New York, NY
2. Los Angeles. CA
3. Spain, Costa del Sol to Madrid
4. Bloomington, IN
F) Websites I visit daily:
1. Playbill.com
2. Lemming's Progress
3. Chase Bank
4. Google Personal Home Page for Quote of the Day
G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. Fried Chicken
2. Coffee Ice Cream
3. French Fries
4. Sweet and Sour Chicken with Steamed Rice
H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1. London, England
2. New York, NY
3. Scotland
4. Wherever there may be friends and/or family in attendance
Sunday, July 30, 2006
The Ghost in the Machine will kill us all!
With the dawn of the debit/Visa card, I have become one of those people who never carry cash unless I know I am going to need it. I actually developed the habit in college when it was easier to pass by the homeless on the Drag when I could honestly say I had no money on me. The result was I rarely had money when I needed it and visited the ATM all the time. Sometimes fees yes, sometimes no, sometimes extra because it wasn't your bank, ah the headache!
But with the new age, you don't need it. Target takes Visa/debit. Korger takes it. Taco Bell takes it. Starbuck's takes it. What more does one need in life?
Well, this weekend in the hamlet (where I work), the phone lines are mysteriously down. No phones means no credit card machines. So, when I went to my favorite deli to get lunch, which was this day's first meal, no cash, no deal! AH!
Fortunately I had a check handy, and I was saved from a fate of starvation and dehydration or worse.
I suppose, since terrorists can't apply for Mastercard or Visa (surely their credit scores are too low) they don't know how we have come to rely on it. Don't bomb our centers of business, or symbols of freedom or capatilism. Just cut our stupid phones lines. America would probably just shut down.
Throw in the cables lines and most of us would probably wish for a good bomb attack!
But with the new age, you don't need it. Target takes Visa/debit. Korger takes it. Taco Bell takes it. Starbuck's takes it. What more does one need in life?
Well, this weekend in the hamlet (where I work), the phone lines are mysteriously down. No phones means no credit card machines. So, when I went to my favorite deli to get lunch, which was this day's first meal, no cash, no deal! AH!
Fortunately I had a check handy, and I was saved from a fate of starvation and dehydration or worse.
I suppose, since terrorists can't apply for Mastercard or Visa (surely their credit scores are too low) they don't know how we have come to rely on it. Don't bomb our centers of business, or symbols of freedom or capatilism. Just cut our stupid phones lines. America would probably just shut down.
Throw in the cables lines and most of us would probably wish for a good bomb attack!
Thursday, July 27, 2006
The Runway at its best!
I am not ashamed to admit it. I am totally addicted to Project Runway. The fashion, the challenges, the personalities! I love it all.
I watch it every week, and then if it is on again during a channel surf, I will watch it again. I can't help it.
Last night was a particularly good one. I can't believe Bradley actually survived it all. I am glad he did, but what a dodge. He was hopelessly lost up until the last second, threw something on the model in an act of desperation and ended up in the top three.
And it was his birthday. Happy Birthday to Bradley!
I watch it every week, and then if it is on again during a channel surf, I will watch it again. I can't help it.
Last night was a particularly good one. I can't believe Bradley actually survived it all. I am glad he did, but what a dodge. He was hopelessly lost up until the last second, threw something on the model in an act of desperation and ended up in the top three.
And it was his birthday. Happy Birthday to Bradley!
Friday, July 21, 2006
Take a Pill!
So, the biggest news item of the week? Pres. Bush said the S word and embarrassed the country.
Are you kidding me? He says sh*t in a private moment and it's embarrassing? It's news?
Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan, but so what? He is a person, and though he was miked, he thought he was not miked. And that aside, he wasn't being broadcast at the time, just recorded.
I kind of agree with whatever late night pundit pointed it out. How he was chomping on that roll was more embarrassing than what he said.
Geesh!
Are you kidding me? He says sh*t in a private moment and it's embarrassing? It's news?
Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan, but so what? He is a person, and though he was miked, he thought he was not miked. And that aside, he wasn't being broadcast at the time, just recorded.
I kind of agree with whatever late night pundit pointed it out. How he was chomping on that roll was more embarrassing than what he said.
Geesh!
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Yes, because in America, we're perfect!
So I am listening to my regular morning show, the Today show, and Matt Lauer is in St. Petersburg, Russia. In a piece on the city, he asked two separate men (neither actually Russian!) what the Russian people thought about their country becoming "less" democratic. Did they have a problem with it? The answers where pretty much the same. As long as civil and personal liberties were not affected, they didn't have a problem with it.
Why? Why!? Why does everyone have to follow our model exactly? The narrow views of Americans can just get to me. It may surprise some of you that we do not have a perfect government! Why would anyone else model theirs after ours exactly? I wouldn't.
A similar thing happened on my favorite reality program, The Amazing Race. The teams were traveling through a very lush and beautiful part of Ethiopia that also didn't have many modern luxuries. A very naive model wondered how the people could live like that! Um ... flushing toilets and running hot and cold are not givens world wide just because you can't live with out it. As a matter of fact, most of the world lived with out those very things quite nicely. Yes, these people lived in huts with dirt floors, but is how they live! Just because you find it too rustic, doesn't mean they are in misery.
Not that I would want to give up hot and cold running water, but it isn't exactly the gold standard.
God bless Russia! May its government find a better way then ours!
Why? Why!? Why does everyone have to follow our model exactly? The narrow views of Americans can just get to me. It may surprise some of you that we do not have a perfect government! Why would anyone else model theirs after ours exactly? I wouldn't.
A similar thing happened on my favorite reality program, The Amazing Race. The teams were traveling through a very lush and beautiful part of Ethiopia that also didn't have many modern luxuries. A very naive model wondered how the people could live like that! Um ... flushing toilets and running hot and cold are not givens world wide just because you can't live with out it. As a matter of fact, most of the world lived with out those very things quite nicely. Yes, these people lived in huts with dirt floors, but is how they live! Just because you find it too rustic, doesn't mean they are in misery.
Not that I would want to give up hot and cold running water, but it isn't exactly the gold standard.
God bless Russia! May its government find a better way then ours!
Friday, July 07, 2006
Say it ain't so Jo!
I just got off of a much needed long conversation with the Queen Mother, may God keep her safe, and she suggested that a good blogger blog at least once a week. And since it has been two week's since my last confession, I thought maybe I should say something.
So, I have a busted washer. It has been weeks and weeks. Because of my show schedule, it has been tough getting Sears in to look at it, but earlier last week, I got the man in.
He listened to it and said that to start it was $475, and it could be more once he got in there and worked on it, being that it was a very cheap appliance with about a life of 5 years, and low and behold, it was 5 years old.
To complete the estimate, he needed wireless access, which he wasn't picking up in the apartment. While he was waiting for me to get some shoes on to go out and find a signal, he looked at my bookcase and said, "So, did you hear that she might actually kill Harry Potter in the last book?"
beat ... beat ...
"Um, yeah. I saw that interview this morning. She actually made no allusions as to who it might be, only that two major characters would die."
"I don't really think she would kill Harry Potter off, you think?"
beat .. beat ...
"Um, I would hope not, but you never know."
"Yeah, she said she wrote the last chapter first. Very interesting."
Inside Voice: "Am I really having this conversation with the repair man?"
"Me too. Can't wait for that last book."
And out we went. See? How can anyone say Harry Potter is a bad thing. Even grown men who, through stereotype, probably haven't read a book since their last day in school are captivated by this wizard and the world Jo Rowling has created. Maybe this guy is an anomaly of his class and is a prolific reader, but it still is pretty amazing that a bohemian like me and a maintenance repair man like him can talk about something like Harry Potter.
In the mean time, the new washer came, I am doing laundry at home (and not work) and the buzzer on the dryer almost made me wet myself. I forgot it could make that kind of noise!
So, I have a busted washer. It has been weeks and weeks. Because of my show schedule, it has been tough getting Sears in to look at it, but earlier last week, I got the man in.
He listened to it and said that to start it was $475, and it could be more once he got in there and worked on it, being that it was a very cheap appliance with about a life of 5 years, and low and behold, it was 5 years old.
To complete the estimate, he needed wireless access, which he wasn't picking up in the apartment. While he was waiting for me to get some shoes on to go out and find a signal, he looked at my bookcase and said, "So, did you hear that she might actually kill Harry Potter in the last book?"
beat ... beat ...
"Um, yeah. I saw that interview this morning. She actually made no allusions as to who it might be, only that two major characters would die."
"I don't really think she would kill Harry Potter off, you think?"
beat .. beat ...
"Um, I would hope not, but you never know."
"Yeah, she said she wrote the last chapter first. Very interesting."
Inside Voice: "Am I really having this conversation with the repair man?"
"Me too. Can't wait for that last book."
And out we went. See? How can anyone say Harry Potter is a bad thing. Even grown men who, through stereotype, probably haven't read a book since their last day in school are captivated by this wizard and the world Jo Rowling has created. Maybe this guy is an anomaly of his class and is a prolific reader, but it still is pretty amazing that a bohemian like me and a maintenance repair man like him can talk about something like Harry Potter.
In the mean time, the new washer came, I am doing laundry at home (and not work) and the buzzer on the dryer almost made me wet myself. I forgot it could make that kind of noise!
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Hello world!
So, I just got advertised on a friendly blog and I feel like I should have something to say today.
My good friend Radio Man is evil. E-V-I-L! Thanks to him, I have re-entered the world of fantasy role play computers games. I have gotten totally re-obsessed. What's more, the game only works on my lap top (no DVD drive in tower) which means when I crash in the late afternoon, it is way to easy to escape into the world of Neverwinter Nights.
Evil! EVIL!
And what's more, the game can be played over the internet with other people so Radio Man and I, and sometimes player Ghetto Guy, can play together.
You will also notice I like to make up names for friends. Radio Man and Ghetto Guy are new. Ghetto Gy might not stick though...
My good friend Radio Man is evil. E-V-I-L! Thanks to him, I have re-entered the world of fantasy role play computers games. I have gotten totally re-obsessed. What's more, the game only works on my lap top (no DVD drive in tower) which means when I crash in the late afternoon, it is way to easy to escape into the world of Neverwinter Nights.
Evil! EVIL!
And what's more, the game can be played over the internet with other people so Radio Man and I, and sometimes player Ghetto Guy, can play together.
You will also notice I like to make up names for friends. Radio Man and Ghetto Guy are new. Ghetto Gy might not stick though...
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Fix It Your Own Damn Self
Why do I have to fix everyone else's problems? I got problems of my own you know.
I don't care if the room is too cold, I don't care if you don't like your seats, I don't care that someone took off with your bobby pins.
Who is going to fix my problems? That is what I want to know!
My life is turning topsy turvy! Screw your damn bobby pins!
I don't care if the room is too cold, I don't care if you don't like your seats, I don't care that someone took off with your bobby pins.
Who is going to fix my problems? That is what I want to know!
My life is turning topsy turvy! Screw your damn bobby pins!
Sunday, June 11, 2006
The Days of Wine and Roses
Okay, so the summer isn't going to suck so much after all. It is still going to be a weird and strange season, but at least I don't want to "end it all" by quitting the world and living under a bridge or running off to live on an island.
My current production opened this week. It opened come hell or high water, and we had a little bit of both. But the audience enjoyed it and we are waiting on the critics.
I was even given particular praise from certain unexpected individuals, so that helped in putting aside the bitter taste of a miserable life that was the last couple of weeks.
Three more weeks to go and then I will try and enjoy July as much as possible. I have a cousin getting married in far off regions that I should probably go see. The Queen of Florida and the Queen Mother live in a kingdom near by, so I could also take a visit there and update them on my life. I could call, but there are some significant updates. We shall see ...
My current production opened this week. It opened come hell or high water, and we had a little bit of both. But the audience enjoyed it and we are waiting on the critics.
I was even given particular praise from certain unexpected individuals, so that helped in putting aside the bitter taste of a miserable life that was the last couple of weeks.
Three more weeks to go and then I will try and enjoy July as much as possible. I have a cousin getting married in far off regions that I should probably go see. The Queen of Florida and the Queen Mother live in a kingdom near by, so I could also take a visit there and update them on my life. I could call, but there are some significant updates. We shall see ...
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
I Was Right
Have you ever done something you thought you were good at? Something that you have done for like 30 years? Something that you thought you did pretty well? And then someone comes along and tells you that you aren't doing so well and they might ask you to stop.
Ever have that happen?
Yeah, well, it sucks when it does. It really, really, REALLY sucks.
This summer is going to really suck ... Excuse me while I go roll up into a ball and wail for a bit.
Ever have that happen?
Yeah, well, it sucks when it does. It really, really, REALLY sucks.
This summer is going to really suck ... Excuse me while I go roll up into a ball and wail for a bit.
Those Long Dog Days ...
The summer of 2006 is not going to be fun. I can just tell. It is going to be long and trying and stressful.
Why?
There is just too much trouble a brewing in too many lives that touch mine. First, of course, there is my own personal journey that just jumped tracks. And I am not talking train tracks or race tracks. I am talking roller-coaster tracks. Life was on the little kiddy coaster and now it is on the super duper loop coaster.
My friend Lemming is having diss. woes. My friend Brain is having his own crisis. The Queen of the Dweebs is a bit adrift and Carol, the Ancient Yuletide Troll, had her own smack upside the head recently.
Sometimes it is just too much. If only I could think about it all at Tara. Everyone needs a Tara, don't you think? Where the hell is my Tara?!
Why?
There is just too much trouble a brewing in too many lives that touch mine. First, of course, there is my own personal journey that just jumped tracks. And I am not talking train tracks or race tracks. I am talking roller-coaster tracks. Life was on the little kiddy coaster and now it is on the super duper loop coaster.
My friend Lemming is having diss. woes. My friend Brain is having his own crisis. The Queen of the Dweebs is a bit adrift and Carol, the Ancient Yuletide Troll, had her own smack upside the head recently.
Sometimes it is just too much. If only I could think about it all at Tara. Everyone needs a Tara, don't you think? Where the hell is my Tara?!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Those long long days ...
I am bored. I am bored and tired. I am bored and tired and going a little crazy.
That is the day I am having. Which only leaves you to wonder a bit. Am I really doing what I should be? Yes, though I wish there was more performing and less admin. Still, the idea of building an audience for my core theater is kind of exciting. We have 100 seats. We do 18 performances a run. Surely there are 1800 people out there for each show! Even 1440 would be nice. I mean, Houston is a huge city. Where are those 1440?
Lemming questioned about what she was doing with the rest of her life. I sometimes wonder what I have been doing with my life so far. Why I made the detours I did away from a life in the arts. Why I didn't make or understand other personal decisions earlier, like 6 or 10 years ago.
I don't know if there is an answer to any of that. Most times I see where the roads in life have brought me, think about the friends and family that surround me and then think what would probably not be there had I done things differently at any given time. When you see those things of value gone and it is hard to imagine what value may or may not replace it, it kind of makes you think it all just works out. Maybe not for the best, as they say, but it all just works out.
That is the day I am having. Which only leaves you to wonder a bit. Am I really doing what I should be? Yes, though I wish there was more performing and less admin. Still, the idea of building an audience for my core theater is kind of exciting. We have 100 seats. We do 18 performances a run. Surely there are 1800 people out there for each show! Even 1440 would be nice. I mean, Houston is a huge city. Where are those 1440?
Lemming questioned about what she was doing with the rest of her life. I sometimes wonder what I have been doing with my life so far. Why I made the detours I did away from a life in the arts. Why I didn't make or understand other personal decisions earlier, like 6 or 10 years ago.
I don't know if there is an answer to any of that. Most times I see where the roads in life have brought me, think about the friends and family that surround me and then think what would probably not be there had I done things differently at any given time. When you see those things of value gone and it is hard to imagine what value may or may not replace it, it kind of makes you think it all just works out. Maybe not for the best, as they say, but it all just works out.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
If a Tree Falls in the Woods ...
If a blogger blogs, but no one reads it, are they a blogger?
I don't think anyone reads my blog anymore. Not surprising really. I joined the blogsphere last year some time, and posted for a while, but found the things I wanted to blog about would be fleeting when I was at a computer, even if they were witty and abundant while, say, stuck in traffic.
At that time, I know I had a few readers. The Queen Mother for one, and Lemming would comment every so often.
Then I fell of the tracks.
I came back to the blogsphere just after my birthday. I had an odd need to be a part of the whole thing. I also had a big epiphany about my life, and needed some kind of outlet to talk about it. Which I did in metaphor, but pretty obvious, blatant metaphors.
I added my blog to sig lines in e-mail and started posting on other blogs to help announce my return, but have received no comments here. Not on the blog and not directly. No Lemming. No Queen Mother or Queen of the Dweebs. No Carol, the Yuletide Troll. Though Carol and QOTD probably didn't read before.
I suppose some of those folks are reading, know what I am talking about and are waiting for me to say something before they do themselves. So if they are, I hope they realize it is a big something to say out loud and are patient with me.
It may seem silly that it is so hard to say. Some will tell me it was painfully obvious, which makes me feel much like a fool, but there you have it and there it is.
I don't think anyone reads my blog anymore. Not surprising really. I joined the blogsphere last year some time, and posted for a while, but found the things I wanted to blog about would be fleeting when I was at a computer, even if they were witty and abundant while, say, stuck in traffic.
At that time, I know I had a few readers. The Queen Mother for one, and Lemming would comment every so often.
Then I fell of the tracks.
I came back to the blogsphere just after my birthday. I had an odd need to be a part of the whole thing. I also had a big epiphany about my life, and needed some kind of outlet to talk about it. Which I did in metaphor, but pretty obvious, blatant metaphors.
I added my blog to sig lines in e-mail and started posting on other blogs to help announce my return, but have received no comments here. Not on the blog and not directly. No Lemming. No Queen Mother or Queen of the Dweebs. No Carol, the Yuletide Troll. Though Carol and QOTD probably didn't read before.
I suppose some of those folks are reading, know what I am talking about and are waiting for me to say something before they do themselves. So if they are, I hope they realize it is a big something to say out loud and are patient with me.
It may seem silly that it is so hard to say. Some will tell me it was painfully obvious, which makes me feel much like a fool, but there you have it and there it is.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Who are we really?
So, I was working with The Brain yesterday, as in Pinky and the Brain (I am Pinky), and he said to me, "Do you ever wake up and wonder who the hell you thought you were and who the hell are you now that you aren't who you thought you were."
"Why yes Brain, I have done that. Not too long ago, but no one believes me when I say I am Celopatra, Queen of the Nile."
Well, I didn't quite say that, but I did say that this has happened to me and none to recently. I really did think I knew who I was, who I was gonna be, and who I was expected to be.
Then 10 years ago I meet someone who didn't believe I was who I said, thought and expected to be. Of course they were wrong and I was right, and the mental tail spin of confusion they created was poppy cock.
But then, one day earlier this year, as the vortex of confusion and doubt was restarted by the presence of a new person in my life, I made myself face the reality that I am not exactly who I said, thought or expected to be.
Now I just have to get used to who I am ...
"Why yes Brain, I have done that. Not too long ago, but no one believes me when I say I am Celopatra, Queen of the Nile."
Well, I didn't quite say that, but I did say that this has happened to me and none to recently. I really did think I knew who I was, who I was gonna be, and who I was expected to be.
Then 10 years ago I meet someone who didn't believe I was who I said, thought and expected to be. Of course they were wrong and I was right, and the mental tail spin of confusion they created was poppy cock.
But then, one day earlier this year, as the vortex of confusion and doubt was restarted by the presence of a new person in my life, I made myself face the reality that I am not exactly who I said, thought or expected to be.
Now I just have to get used to who I am ...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)